BLACK FRIDAY FUN...

Yes I went shopping at four a.m.

Yes I also worked from 3 to midnight.

And yes, I too faced death that day.

I thought Lindsay and I were doing pretty good. No throwing of elbows at Walmart like I had previously experienced. And then I go to Costco. I was literally standing there and had been for quite some time when a lady comes barreling into me with her shopping cart. First of all she was Asian which made it twenty times more funny to me. Second of all she claimed she couldn't see me. I not so kindly pointed out that she probably could not see me because she had a giant TV in her cart which was blocking her view. I also not so kindly reminded her that instead of running around like a crazy she should take the time to peek her head out from behind the giant TV to see if anyone is in fact in front of her. Then as I suggested she move the TV, and she proceeded to try to move it, I started dying laughing. And to top it all of she informed me that crashing into me hurt her. Like in the end it was my fault. Oh man Lindsay and I were crying. And now I have a bruise on my hip.

And yes I was wearing basketball shorts, a giant hoodie, and some furry slippers.

BUTT BLASTER...

I have taken up going to the gym. I know... so not my favorite thing. But this machine entitled the "Butt Blaster" is the key to my hot ase. One day I will have Brinley take a picture of me on the machine blasting my butt away, but for now just create a mental picture in your mind. Don't be alarmed when the next time you see me I can't walk. These things take time, and in the mean time my muscles hate me for my year of inactivity.

DOGLOVER you make me happy.

How can you not just die laughing at this... i have contributed many times to the over 800,000 times these videos have been viewed. doglover199709 you rock.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rMdWqaN_Tms
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBRvV-J-NFQ&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DEtP9zQAOI4&feature=related

Dear Neighbors...

Please stop stealing my trash can. This is twice now that someone has taken something that does not belong to them, and you are forcing me in return, to take someone elses trash can. And don't worry, I take whatever one has been lying in the middle of the street a good two days after trash day. But my original trash can was nice and new and clean and the one I just snatched has something growing on the inside of it. So whoever took my nice new trash can, please return in promptly and I will not ask any questions about what was going on in your mind when you took it.

Love,
Sam

Crafty or creepy?

I hope you can tell that because you have seen two posts from me to day it is safe to conclude that I am holding down the fort at my dads office while everyone is out of town. Therefore I blog because I am bored. So thanks to jen I stumbled across these crafts. Please tell me that you appreciate them as much as I do. I have always wanted to find an alternate use for tampons. Check out some of these tampon crafts.

Letters...

So I decided that since I verbally write letters to the people/things that I am currently hating in my life... i shall blog them as well... so here we go.

Dear Gap...

Why in the world do you care more about your precious payroll hours than you do your employees? Cause while I feel like I have been screwed over recently... in the end it was actually you who got screwed over cause you had to pay me 6 hours worth of overtime. Next time you feel in necessary to schedule me from 9pm - 6am, please note that this time I will in fact leave at 6am. My recent stay til 10am made me hate you more than i already do. Not to mention the fact that I now have bleeding cuticles and my arms look like they have been clawed multiple times by a cat because you are too lazy to have the people in china who make our christmas trees round off the edges so i don't almost bleed to death during the night in the middle of your sales floor.

Love, Sam